Your STANDARDS are so LOW....

Lls. I have a few blogs Imma be typing up within the next couple hours...Ewwwww Dont kiss me with those lips *requested by a friend of mine named Netta...&& a few others. Writers block sure has subsided. But I aint mad.

Now yesterday I sorta touch bases with STANDARDS && today I want to elaborate. Ok so as human beings (guys have standards && I dont want to leave them out) we set rules by which we want others to abide by, Criteria that someone who is interested has to meet. Now standards arent just required or should I say set for intimate relationships, we set standards for all relationships..be it friendships or what have you.

Like I stated before, sometimes I second guess myself when it comes to my standards... I want someone to be caring, honest, emotionally connected, goal oriented, fun loving, hard working, possessing a great sense of humor and humility.

Well I find myself scratching off HONEST...because I dont trust anyone..NOT 1 person other than myself. Alot of people feel if it's not talked about it's not a lie but to ME: Omission is BETRAYAL. Point blank. Anywho I find myself dismissing all of my criteria more often than not because I was starting to feel like there was no one out there who possessed such qualities. && Still I have yet to find them but today I'm taking back MY STANDARDS...such a person does exist I just havent been patient enough to let them find me. I will admit I want things when I want them and dismissing my standards have given some of the most inhumane, undeserving people access to me and my heart attracting ALL THE WRONG ONES. && then I sit && cry && wonder "Why me??"

We are setting ourselves up for failure. I was the type of person who wouldnt take any bullshit, didnt believe in break ups to make ups, or sex before a relationship, or even Cuddle Buddies (for lack of a better word) Yet over the years I have found myself to be a willing participant in the behaviors I so strongly protested. I'm sure many of you have. Accepting lies to protect my heart, accepting sex secretly hoping it would lead to what I wanted && wondered why I would always come up short.

Now see..I was LOWERING MY STANDARDS, Settling for less than the best. Allowing others to convince me that they were worth what I then thought was COMPROMISE. But COMPROMISE is comprised of TWO WILLING PARTIES WHO ASSESS THE SITUATION AND MEET HALF WAY BOTH GIVING SOMETHING UP AS A MUTUAL AGREEMENT. Problem was..when I was letting my STANDARDS fall to the ground and crumble...they still had theirs in tote. Whatever motive they had..they still possessed and I was too stupid to see it. Know what you bring to the table && if that person isnt willing to RECIPROCATE (if they dont BALANCE you out) then they arent worth the time to waste.

You can NEVER GET WHAT YOU WANT allowing others to TAKE WHAT YOU HAVE. If a person really cared for you, they wouldnt have to lie, so dishonesty is not an option. They should be willing participants in the "Open Communication" game. If there is no trust..then you have a week foundation. If a person is willing to allow you to change who you are, the characteristics you possess they to me are willing to manipulate you into being whatever they want you to be. If they talk about sex all the time and put pressure on you to have it before you are comfortable and ready...your GULLIBLE && goddamnit I know I am...I didnt use to be that way though..it recent years I called it maturing and now understanding that sex is a part of a relationship...it doesnt make up the relationship in it's entirety. So if it's all they talk about more than likely that's all it will ever be.

Tough pill to swallow. It's not called being Sadity, Egotistical or any other word...Set your standards high because only the QUALIFIED will meet them. All others who complain are angry they cant and may never be able to reach them. Set, && stick by them. If you dont STAND for something you will FALL FOR ANYTHING. Everyone is out for self...NEVER FORGET THAT.

Support, Loyalty and the Cookie

Watching Oprah...really wanting the new STEVE HARVEY book "Act like a Lady, Think Like a MAN." The topics on the show are verrrrry interesting in regards to the opposite sex. Tslking about setting standards and sticking to them. I myself have relinquished my rights so many times && therefore I made myself a throwback fish. They hook me...they reel me in && then when they are done ..they THROW ME BACK. The story of my life. I told myself that relinquishing my rights...was me compromising and not being so stubborn. But Steve brings up the fact that not standing my ground has set me up for failure. That they no longer respect me or my wishes because if they did they would rise to my standards instead of allowing me to lower them.

I'm so about to go out and get his book.

Anway the whole reason why I'm here right now is because of the Support, Loyalty and the Cookie. The supposeded three things guys (in regards to his book) or whomever needs is are those things. They need to know that we Support them in whatever they do, that we have their backs. That our Loyalty lies with them, that we are devoted to them, loving them, caring about them and nothing or noone can change that. But can you be loyal to a fault?? && The COOKIE..is the goods of course they have to have that. Anywho just putting it out there...are those the three things needed to really and truely maintain a happy, healthy home??

Imma go out && get the book. I'm sure his book will provoke more blogging topics as well as be insightful to me. =)