Trust

Trust- A belief and assurance, reliance on a person or a thing, to be certain or bound by a undying faith. -yours truly

I believe I'm a trust worthy person, and because I am, I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt as I mention in several of my blogs, but do they deserve it?? Most of the time NO. Now this is how I do it, I usually give it off the back, I'm a poor judge of character, so I end up revoking my trust and the person never gains it back and if they are one of the very few who manages to, my trust with them is very limited. I forgive but I never FORGET. I have been wronged by people I've trusted, more often than not, so I honestly dont trust anyone, I dont put anything past anybody. I TRUST people to disappoint, to do what makes them happy without regards for the next man, I trust people to do what they want. Wondering if I were approaching the whole trust thing wrong, like maybe it would be better if I made someone earn my trust?? I think I sorta kinda do make them do that though, like I give it to them but they only get one chance, like they are earning it until they fuck up and then I dont want to trust them any further than I can throw them.

Do you believe it is possible for someone to earn back trust?? Do you think there are such things as honest mistakes?? && If so, do you feel like mistakes can be repeated?? I heard that you continue to make mistakes until your lesson is learned...do you agree or disagree?? What deems a person untrustworthy?? && Do you think it is possible to continue a relationship or friendship with this person??

As for friends, I have a hard time just letting them go, it takes alot to make me no longer wish to continue our friendship, but I do tend to keep a deceitful friend at a distance, I look at liars like sociopaths. As far as relationships, I dont honestly think a relationship can survive when there is no trust present or if the trust is only one sided. && Once the trust is broken you may as well say goodbye because no matter how much you want to try, to work on it, you will NEVER look at that person the same. Betrayal is a motherfucker and I think Beyonce put it best in her song RESENTMENT. Is there a grace period that should be present regarding trust when first finding yourselves in a new relationship?? If so why?? I honestly dont think there should be, but what the hell, who am I to talk when my shit is a damn mess itself. Lls.

&& When your putting your trust in someone, how do you determine if they even deserve it, who gets it?? Is there specific criteria that has to be met?? Like a series of tests?? && furthermore, do you believe it is possible to trust someone in general, but not trust them with your heart?? Why or why not?? To me I feel like the only person you should trust, can trust without a doubt and has your best interest at heart is YOURSELF. You know what YOU are capable of, and trust requires a degree of integrity that you hopefully possess.

Your STANDARDS are so LOW....

Lls. I have a few blogs Imma be typing up within the next couple hours...Ewwwww Dont kiss me with those lips *requested by a friend of mine named Netta...&& a few others. Writers block sure has subsided. But I aint mad.

Now yesterday I sorta touch bases with STANDARDS && today I want to elaborate. Ok so as human beings (guys have standards && I dont want to leave them out) we set rules by which we want others to abide by, Criteria that someone who is interested has to meet. Now standards arent just required or should I say set for intimate relationships, we set standards for all relationships..be it friendships or what have you.

Like I stated before, sometimes I second guess myself when it comes to my standards... I want someone to be caring, honest, emotionally connected, goal oriented, fun loving, hard working, possessing a great sense of humor and humility.

Well I find myself scratching off HONEST...because I dont trust anyone..NOT 1 person other than myself. Alot of people feel if it's not talked about it's not a lie but to ME: Omission is BETRAYAL. Point blank. Anywho I find myself dismissing all of my criteria more often than not because I was starting to feel like there was no one out there who possessed such qualities. && Still I have yet to find them but today I'm taking back MY STANDARDS...such a person does exist I just havent been patient enough to let them find me. I will admit I want things when I want them and dismissing my standards have given some of the most inhumane, undeserving people access to me and my heart attracting ALL THE WRONG ONES. && then I sit && cry && wonder "Why me??"

We are setting ourselves up for failure. I was the type of person who wouldnt take any bullshit, didnt believe in break ups to make ups, or sex before a relationship, or even Cuddle Buddies (for lack of a better word) Yet over the years I have found myself to be a willing participant in the behaviors I so strongly protested. I'm sure many of you have. Accepting lies to protect my heart, accepting sex secretly hoping it would lead to what I wanted && wondered why I would always come up short.

Now see..I was LOWERING MY STANDARDS, Settling for less than the best. Allowing others to convince me that they were worth what I then thought was COMPROMISE. But COMPROMISE is comprised of TWO WILLING PARTIES WHO ASSESS THE SITUATION AND MEET HALF WAY BOTH GIVING SOMETHING UP AS A MUTUAL AGREEMENT. Problem was..when I was letting my STANDARDS fall to the ground and crumble...they still had theirs in tote. Whatever motive they had..they still possessed and I was too stupid to see it. Know what you bring to the table && if that person isnt willing to RECIPROCATE (if they dont BALANCE you out) then they arent worth the time to waste.

You can NEVER GET WHAT YOU WANT allowing others to TAKE WHAT YOU HAVE. If a person really cared for you, they wouldnt have to lie, so dishonesty is not an option. They should be willing participants in the "Open Communication" game. If there is no trust..then you have a week foundation. If a person is willing to allow you to change who you are, the characteristics you possess they to me are willing to manipulate you into being whatever they want you to be. If they talk about sex all the time and put pressure on you to have it before you are comfortable and ready...your GULLIBLE && goddamnit I know I am...I didnt use to be that way though..it recent years I called it maturing and now understanding that sex is a part of a relationship...it doesnt make up the relationship in it's entirety. So if it's all they talk about more than likely that's all it will ever be.

Tough pill to swallow. It's not called being Sadity, Egotistical or any other word...Set your standards high because only the QUALIFIED will meet them. All others who complain are angry they cant and may never be able to reach them. Set, && stick by them. If you dont STAND for something you will FALL FOR ANYTHING. Everyone is out for self...NEVER FORGET THAT.