So much on my mind, it's really crazy. I have no idea where to even begin..Exes have been on my mind probably because it's the Spring and something about spring motivates people to try to come back into your life, motivates people to reach out..trust me I know because most of them have. When I sit and think about all the tears, heartbreak..how hard it was to get over each of them, I know it's possible. This song kind of reminds me of them all bunched together I gave and tried my best but we were all in different places and wanted something the other could not provide. All the lessons I have learned..gone but never forgotten..they each have special places in my heart, special memories that we shared most of the pictures don't exist anymore, deleted, thrown away, numbers changed..mostly on my part.
I'll review my past and my lessons..just to get it out of my head & off my brain..
A taught me what being loved felt like but also taught me how to recognize a liar...
D taught me that the "safe" ones aren't so safe, secretly they play that role but not just with you with everybody. D taught me to expect the unexpected no other lesson other than that....
A came back && taught me people will NEVER change..&& if they do it will be evident in their lifestyle not just their talk..so I WALKED...& kept walking
C taught me to be friends first..also taught me that people are different when you're friends and when you are involved with the person. C taught me that friends first can lead to misconceptions,that the person who know's all your weaknesses will play on them. That it's harder to walk away when you've invested years in a person but that no amount of years will make it work. C taught me that I needed to place more value in myself, that I was worth more than the way C treated me. C taught me that it's possible for a person to love your child as if they were their own, that's the most valuable lesson C could ever teach me, the way C loved my daughter, the relationship C had with my daughter was something I loved and adored && valued but C taught me that just because someone cares for your child doesn't mean you have to be with them..doesn't mean you have to allow them to treat you any kind of way.. C taught me that no matter how many times I tried && failed @ walking away ..that it was still possible && that's what I did leaving the remains of a failed friendship, a failed partnership along with pieces of my heart behind..
I've learned so many lessons from all of my experiences, what I want, what I refuse to accept and that it's possible to walk away. At the times where the relationships came to an end..I cried & I cried..I felt so weak and hurt not knowing that in all my weakness I was strong enough to let go ..not realizing that as I was crying I was steady walking in the opposite direction.. I don't regret anything because I gave "All I Had To Give."
Lesson Learned: What you're willing to Walk Away from will determine what You will walk into.