.....

Anger
towards myself
I knew better
Anger with her
She knew me too well
Confusion, Mistrust
Resentment
ANGER.
Hurt
Stupidity

Wishing I could crawl under a rock
because I know me
and
I knew better

But I did it AGAIN
Shouldve caught myself with the second
&&
third blog.

Where is my strength
my will
my determination

I will love you tomorrow
even though I dont want to
I dont like you right now

You knew what would happen
&&
just like the first time
you didnt care

You see that's what I mean
OUT FOR SELF

I wish I could be like that
and
as much as I try
I cant be..
I dont have it in me

Everytime I go through this...
I lose a valuable piece of myself
my orginality
that I will
NEVER
get back.

I can see me
turning
into stone.
Giving up
People
with their
"People"
make me envious

Grass is
always
Greener on the otherside..
Shit
My grass
aint never been
GREEN.

I aint never had
what I
thought I wanted
what I now
no longer
believe in

Pissed

You follow me..
you read my thoughts
that I put to paper

for what
a better
insight as
to who I
am
....

Well
Im real
[Vulnerable]
true...

But I'm Real
[Emotional]

I mean I'm
REAL
I cry
REAL people tears
I feel
REAL people pain
I feel
REAL people lonely

I'm TIRED
of the games..
everyone has them
call it how I see it
&&
they ask why I'm so mean
Dont wanna open up
Keep the world at a distance
Staying in my little bubble

why??

Because people will always
want what they cant have
&&
I'd rather feel
WANTED, Special...
they like when your unatainable..
UNTOUCHABLE
when you play their
CAT/MOUSE
game..

But my legs are tired...
I cant run anymore....
Imma walk..
at a S.L.O.W.
pace

I can see the end
in the beginning
so Imma take my time
Do it on my terms
&&
I dont NEED you...
I wanted YOU
&&
I DONT KNOW WHY

I say things
in the heat
of the moment
outta anger

I get torrets
so dont mind
if I call you
BITCH!
I just mean Female

You make me
SICK
hold on while I vomit

can you RETURN
that
BIG
chunk of my heart you stole
Send it
in
my
little bit
Of HAPPINESS bag...

you didnt think...
you could keep that
did you??
Well you cant..
IT'S MINE
&&
I dont care if
it doesnt exactly
they way it did
before
you took it
without my permission
I still want it..
even if it doesnt work
anymore...
I wont let it work
for YOU

You've got enough
hearts on your belt
you dont need mine anymore

You brought me to a whole new low
&&
When I think I'm maturing...
I'm really NOT
I'm just being a follower
and
following
behind the rest..
Suspending
my STRONG
WOMAN
I dont need NObody
act...

I hate you sometimes..
&&
If you cared anything
about me..
you wouldnt have gone there
EVER

SELFISH

I wish I never met you..
I wish I never met YOU

Ugh!!!

Thanks for contributing
to my heartbreak
How much do I owe you??

I want out of this LOVE shit...
I dont wanna be weak anymore
I wont allow another to make
me
WEAK

&&
I wont be like this
FOREVER
It'll pass.
&&
I cant wait till
it does.

I dont want you
I dont TRUST you
I dont NEED you
I dont LIKE you

Your accountable for your actions
YOu knew..
Lil Ole me
had NO idea
&&
you wanted it this way
Well
hunnie
it aint happenin.

YOu dont GOT me
Only I GOT me
&&
thats how its gonna be
from now on.

I knew better
I knew
that
I
KNEW better
Guess I
had to find out the hard way..

Dont come back
next month
dont come back
next year

even in a few years..
dont come back tryin to
LOVE me..
because
I wont be back down this road..
oh no
Its just NOT worth it.

I wont want you.
I will remember what I feel
&&
Imma work from
NOW
until
forever
on letting u
GO
&&
Keepin you
GONE

Dont feel
Sorry for me
&&
Matter of fact
DONT feel
NOTHING
for me

I wish so badly

I want to DISAPPEAR

I was doing good...
now look at me

STUPID

You read everything else
well
this
is JUST
4 U

&&
Stop trying to figure me out
Dont FOLLOW me
Dont worry about what
I'm thinking
Just know
it wont be about
U

Good FUCKING NITE*
-Peeved