SHUT UP && Speak...

I was told by a friend of mine that the reason why they resort to dating women of the opposite race was because they dont "talk back" They say just want they want to hear and black women have entirely too much mouth. Hey I cant help that I'm mouthy. It's just apart of who I am. Being brought up in a household where I was told to speak up, say how I feel and treat others how I want to be treated, I find it hard to silence myself. Sometimes I look at it as a catch 22...I express myself and pride myself in being outspoken..but sometimes I dont know when to SHUT UP! To shut up impedes on my personal right of free speech. When do you stand your ground?? and When do you cave in and silence the lion roaring in your chest??

If I bite my tongue and deny the impulse to defend, express myself..I feel so handicapped. && I cant deal with that. I struggle the most with this when dealing with someone. I feel that if I completely express myself it can be viewed as annoying and nagging and I dont want anyone to feel that about me. But like Beyonce says..I shut up for fear that you may leave if I were to speak up. If I were to hush ..and withold my feelings or my personal opinions wouldnt that trash any hopes of open communication??

I feel like everything is a compromise. At a very young age I was taught this method: Learn to care about something you dont care about because someone you care about cares about it. Something like that. Basically saying that even if you dont feel so strongly about what I'm saying, you should try to care about it, because it is something that is obviously affecting me in whatever manner.

After struggling with my strong will and determination...I still can not come to terms with the whole silence is golden rule..You supress your words to make others feel comfortable all the while your feeling uncomfortable?? Why?? What makes their comfort level any more important than your own?? I want open communication, I want someone who is willing to hear me out, someone who is willing to listen and offer advice or words of comfort when needed...or just lend an ear ..I want them to love me even when the words dont come out right, to accept my difference of opinion and understand it is ok that we disagree sometimes, to get that sometimes I say things just to make you mad ( and although it doesnt make it right) I dont mean them. For them I'm willing to do the same because I would never ask anyone to do something I myself would not do. How do you live OUTLOUD when your forced to SHUT UP && SPEAK??