Tonight has been one of those damn night, mad at the damn world && I kinda know why but then again I really dont. So sitting here alone wide awake, for a reason I care not to discuss, I started thinking about my love life or lack thereof (gimme a break, it's friday and ya girl is once again ALONE). I attract lames, it's like I have some kind of scent that I give off that only LAMES can smell. By lames I mean, weaklings, cheaters, liars, weirdos, disrespectful people. Be it male or female, I now admit I have horrible taste and am not a good judge of character. I blame it on my wanting to give everyone the benefit of the doubt and that is just something most people just dont DESERVE. I hate to see people for who they really are because I want to belive that we all are capable of the same things regarding committment and love and honesty.
Now dont get me wrong, I am not saying I am perfect, I'm very aware of my faults and in or out of a relationship I try my best to work on them. But to me my faults are the least of anyones worry, I am outspoken and sometimes dont know when to shut up..but you know you'll always hear the truth from me, I can sometimes be possessive but I'm loyal to a T, I have alot of people who express interest in me but I'm not one to cheat, I have an attitude problem ...change takes time. But the people I seem to be attracted to dont usually have jobs, see mutliple people at once, keeps most of their exes close, have a problem with admitting when they are wrong, are committment phobic, and cant tell the truth to save their lives.
I'm hip to all the games people play and see through most of that shit, I wish I had a stronger ability to move on but hey I'm only human. And although games is not what I ask for, I sure to see to get them by the handfuls. I really would like to know what kind of vibe I am giving off, maybe I need to change my surroundings, cleanse myself, relocate to another state just to get a feel for new people and increase my chances of finding someone more compatible with who I really am. I no longer feel baltimore has anything more than bullshit and heartbreak to offer. && If I had a dollar for everytime I am approached, or have dated, or allowed my heart to attach itself to a LAME trust me...we would not NOT be in a RECESSION.
I consider myself a real person and that's so hard to find nowadays with so many fakes amongst us. Real recognize REAL && NO ONE is looking FAMILIAR*
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