It's ALWAYS me..

I brought all of this on myself right??
I'm the one giving off attitude right??
I'm making this difficult huh?

Song on repeat, crying myself to sleep. Fighting back tears in public.

This is ALL my fault. TO please you I must nod yes when I want to shake my head no.
I must smile when really I want to break down in cry.
I have to be silent when really I want to scream LOUDLY.

I cant be ME. I have to be who you want me to be when you call, when you come around, the REAL me has to hide.

I just want to cry till there are no tears left to fall, to scream until no sound will come out, I want to go away until I'm better. I want a better solution then the one I already have. I want answers to my damn questions that I dont even want to ask anymore. Before I didnt smile but I wasnt frowing either...now I'm saddened by this LIE.

You dont see it as such because it's what you want, but it's a lie. What would your advice be to me if I were to go to you as a friend?? How would you want me to handle this situation if the circumstances were the same but it was Candice instead , or Mishaun instead of U. You cant answer fairly. When have you EVER apologized to me for how you've made me feel?? NEVER right?? Because you are NEVER wrong. My feelings are irrational.

How much of a friend are you to me if you arent even honest about what's going on in your life?? You claim we are so close but taking phone calls in other rooms, ignoring calls in my presence, you inability to address the situation yesterday regarding your eye tells it all. But we are friends right?? So can I ask you why sometimes I see you wearing a ring on your wedding finger now more than ever?? I have class, but I got 50 questions that I want answered with more than just 1 word.